The Narcissist’s Envy

Why it’s debilitating to those who love them

Some think that to be envied is an honor, but when someone you love envies you, it can be devastating.  One of the nine traits listed in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) about narcissistic personality disorder is one that states: “Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.”

If you are envied by a distant person, it may have no effect on you. If you are envied by someone you love, it’s a different story. Let’s think first about the nature of narcissistic behavior. It is common for narcissists to criticize, judge, and put others down to make themselves feel bigger and better. Remember the narcissist typically has a very fragile ego and lack of solid sense of self. They need to be admired and praised to feed that lacking ego.

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